Just When You Think Things Are Going Good...

...I move into a city that's in the middle of nowhere and I CAN'T GET REAL INTERNET SERVICE!!!!!!!!!!!! So basically work told me today they had to "let me go". I'm devastated but not surprised. I have no way to come in. No car, bus would take 6hrs, no carpool. I have no one to "take me in" again. (Live with) Really can't afford to move again. Pay deposits and such again? Not to mention the money I spent already from moving once. That's not coming back. And who's to say if I did move that I would find another place that'll let me set up 2 different lines? Or takes pets? It took FOREVER to find this place! Had to window shop with no car too. Took me $100 each way on Lyft to see this place. I'm not made of money. No one offered to drive me and frankly my roommate, I didn't really want her or her crazy fam knowing where I was moving. And all my friends were already almost 2 hours away from me.

Two of them helped me get my stuff around last year but the roommate came to pick me up and whoosh...out from the city into the boonies. And now I'm so far out in the other direction I'm in a different county. Never lived outside LA county before. Weird. And still almost 2hrs from the closest friend. Honestly they were more acquaintance's who helped which surprised the f out of me. One's I'd known for 9+ years but hardly ever see each other. I am not fond of asking for help & it's harder accepting it. Most of them know that. Some of the hardest things I've had to do have been in these past 2 years. 

The Sup/Mgrs must have no clue what it is to live alone and live on Minimum Wage. Completely clueless. I know one who lives close to work (not a cheap neighborhood obvs) and her mommy helps her. Think she's older than me. Must be nice.

I don't want help again tbh. I'm a grown damn woman, I want to be able to provide for myself. And I get jacked up because of internet???? F.M.L.

I mean sure, I can't get slow speeds here; wifi or satellite which is like a cell phone plan with a data cap. But not something that work qualified as "good enough" to use even for short term. They wouldn't even consider letting me use my home connection til I could find a second one. 

They said they'd looked at Charter & Spectrum. Which are basically the same company. I offered a few other places that I'd tried, Dish, ATT, Verizon, and even some smaller companies that people prob have never heard of. No dice. Even one that does service said our building or something is "over-saturated" so I'd basically have to wait til someone moved out who had that service and freed up a port for me to use. There were FOUR empty apts when I moved in. So wtf did the other 3 use? Nothing or the satellite? IDK. Sigh.

And honestly with all the hassle I've been, would work REALLY take me back? They kept saying they will though they were pissing me off how blase they were about helping me out. Just tell it to me straight! Stop beating around the bush! Or the silence. THREE people on the phone with me and silence? (Think one mgr was training the other. Felt like a damn guinea pig.) There's something wrong with that. But sh*t. It was a job with insurance that I could do from home. I need it. I want it back if possible. Saved me a lot of time/money & peace of mind to not have to bus/walk it anywhere in the dark. 

They let me work a few days on my satellite connection last week and yah it was a bit slow. Calls had a bit of a delay & took longer than average for pages to load. But I still was doing about as many calls as I was before. Using an online phone & connection we all log into slows it down anyway. But they kept bringing it up how slow the website said my satellite connection was. Grr.

At least I got to work a few days last week and use up some of my vakay for the missed days so next paycheck won't suck like this one did. Idiots are so uptight about security I couldn't access anything when I wasn't working. And there's no way to look at stuff on a home computer. They said they'd pay me the rest of my vakay and whatnot for my severance or whatever...But it sucks. Supposedly they actually liked me. I was hoping to move to a different dept when one became open with a higher pay grade. Guests liked to talk to me, the agents, even coworkers . They were way nicer than my last job. Honest with information which is what I like. Just as usual the uppers don't have a clue. Everything is so separated/broken down you have to call 3 different depts to get an answer for something...and NO ONE had a clue what to do about me...

They really just seemed to have started a widespread program when I started last August. Everyone else lived in the area & could come into work if needed. I looked, there wasn't anything I could afford. People go there because it's a nice area & they live there til they die. Some apts had wait lists! I wasn't going to get a roommate unless it was separate bedrooms (so I didn't have to worry about working at home & us disturbing each other) & bathrooms that didn't cost as much as living alone. Even near work I don't think 2 people could afford a studio on min wage there. Ridiculous! 

...But now what? Hardly any work around here for me. Everything will be low pay. Do I file for unemployment? What if I can find internet and get the job back? (If it's MONTHS from now before then I'd lose all my seniority & raise I got. But who knows for sure if I've lost it now. I don't know. They didn't offer any info. Just like "IF we have a spot for you". UGH.) Do I tell my land lady I may not have rent? I should be ok for next month but the month after...? FML. 

I feel like my life is a failure. Always having to fight for everything...(Because well I don't feel like anyone has ever fought for me. Though my Sup is a nice guy I only half believe he really tried.)Then when things start to look up...BAM! Smacked back down. Been crying for like over 2 weeks now because of this. I'm so tired of crying...My friends were being all "chin up" & "(deity you believe in) will provide"...I've always been more of a blunt, look at things in one thousand different ways from good to bad. This is definitely the worst. I can't think of any reason they'd get better. Not that doesn't end exactly like this. Because that's my life.